Wedding planning is often thought of as something kept mostly for the bride. But, that’s definitely not the case! Grooms can be as involved in the wedding as they wants to be, but a lot of grooms aren’t sure where to start. We don’t blame them!
Planning a wedding is a huge task. From picking the perfect venues, to create a budget, inviting guests, and dealing with a bride who wants everything just right – there’s a lot for a groom to consider.
We’ve worked with a lot of couples, and we know that grooms can definitely feel a bit lost. Here are 7 of the top groom’s questions answered:
1. How do I know what to help with?
It can feel like wedding planning comes more naturally for a bride. Chances are, she’s been thinking about what she wants for her wedding for a while longer than you. If you feel like she’s got it covered – you’re definitely wrong! Brides can get overwhelmed with the amount of tasks at hand too, so start by asking, “What can I do to help?” Yes. So simple, yet so hard!
Schedule time to sit down together. Even if she says she’s got it, tell her you’re interested to get an update. Chances are during that session, she may give you a task that would make her feel loved, or she’ll simply be grateful to have a supportive ear.
2. What do I wear?
Pinterest is your best friend. Search for wedding tuxes and ask your bride what colour scheme she is hoping you’d wear. Does she want you in a formal tux? A suit? Does she want you wearing suspenders? A pocket square? If she has an idea, take her lead. If not, impress her by coming to the table prepared with what you had in mind.
3. How do I pick my groomsmen?
Groomsmen. You either have too many to pick from, or not enough guy friends to match her bridesmaids. That’s okay! First, you can definitely have an uneven amount of bridesmaid to groomsmen. A really popular new way of doing the ceremony is having the groomsmen at the front of the ceremony and the bridemaids walk up solo (this prevents awkward pairings).
Talk to your bride if you think you have uneven numbers. Is there someone in her life who is important to her you can ask to have on your side? Is there a female friend you want as a groomswoman? Think outside of the box! It’s your big day too. If you have trouble choosing, there are other roles you buddies can take – like usher, MC, or host.
4. How can I make her feel special?
In a craze of wedding planning, it’s important not to forget about each other. During the process, your bride is going to be stressed. Have you ever dealt with crazy bridesmaids and a mother-in-law? Right. Treat her with homemade dinners, a clean house, a gift certificate with a manicure – anything to show her you’re thinking of her and want her to take time to relax.
On your special day, you can write her a nice card to read before the ceremony or give her a thoughtful gift, like jewelry to wear. These small moments really make lasting memories.
5. What do I do if we don’t agree?
Talk it through! Compromise is everything. First, make sure you’re both calm and collected. Don’t discuss things when you feel heated and if it gets heated, take a break. Weddings can bring a lot of emotions to the surface. Take space and each write out why whatever your disagreeing on is important to you, and each take terms presenting this information.
Also, both of you should think up one or two compromises that would make you happy. This will make it easier to see a bright side to whatever disagreement you’re having.
6. What should I do for my parents?
Your parents are likely over the moon that you’re getting married. This is the day they’ve hoped you’d be able to have since you were little, so why not get them a small token of appreciation? Write a nice speech, have a special mother-son dance scheduled, or get them a small gift. Anything that would make them feel appreciated and thanked for getting you to this milestone.
7. I don’t have opinions on the things she’s asking me opinions for, and she gets mad if I say I don’t care – What do I do!?
Yes, you may truly not care if you go with mauve table clothes or violet, but try forming some sort of opinion, even if it’s subtle. For example, “I think it’s nice to go with a more toned down colour”. If you truly can’t form an opinion, show that you’re invested an interested by asking questions to help her, like,
- “How would this impact the overall look and feel of the wedding?”
- “Which one costs more?”
- “Hm, good question. Which one were you leaning towards?”
Your bride mostly just wants you to be involved in the process, so try to swap out your “I don’t knows” or “I don’t cares” with something more productive. She’ll be happy to have you on her side.
Now that you have some insight – go talk to your gorgeous bride! Ask her what’s on her mind, what’s keeping her up at night, and what little things you can help with. Yes, planning can be stressful. But, it can also be a big bonding experience. Enjoy it!
Written By Brad Dalli from Dalli Digital